Carols from The White House

As the first black, post-racial, most transparent, sea-lowering, nation-healing, climate changing President approaches his first Christmas in the White House, it is only fitting that we offer him our finest gold, frankincense, and myrrh; or at least a few paeans to his greatness and magnificence in the form of popular Christmas carols. 

So without further fanfare, Grand Rants presents 

CHRISTMAS CAROLS FROM THE WHITE HOUSE 

The First Nobel 

“My First Nobel”
Obama did sing,
“Was presented to me
without doing a thing!” 

“So I came for the award
and, of course, work the crowd
it’s so nice to be honored
and Michelle is still proud” 

“Nobel! Nobel!
Put it right in a vault
And if something bad happens, it’s all Bush’s fault! 

“Nobel! Nobel!
Yeah I got a Nobel!
You shall all bow before me
and, also, Michelle” 

Health Care Bells  

Dashing through the snow
To the Senate for to vote
Health Care’s on its way
And that’s all she wrote! 

We control you now
That’s just how it goes
Soon you’ll get the bill for this
And you’ll pay through the noseOh!

Single pay, on its way
That’s the way to health!
Oh what fun it is to take
And redistribute your wealth!

Ho! 

It’s all done, and we won
Changes that are bold!
And you all are covered
Just as long as you aren’t old! 

(repeat ad nauseum)

Deck The Halls (Of Congress)

Deck Congressional halls with holly
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
As they celebrate their folly
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

Don we now our alternative lifestyle apparel
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
Singing non-denominational carols!
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

Obamacare Is Coming To Town 

Oh, you’d better watch out,
You better not cry,
You better not pout,
I’m telling you why:
Obamacare is coming to town. 

He’s making a list,
And checking it twice,
Gonna heal the young
and put elders on ice…
Obamacare is coming to town. 

He knows we didn’t want this.
He knows we wish he’d quit
He knows the other system worked
But he doesn’t give a (crap) 

So, you’d better watch out,
You better not cry
If you make a stink
You’ll be going bye-bye…
Obamacare is coming to town. 

Wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas!

Gerry Ashley