Slap On A Smile: Auto-Tune Review For June/July

July 31, 2009

From the Tongue-In-Cheek (TIC) News Department

OK, it’s Casual Friday and the end of July. We’ve covered a lot of ground over the last 6-8 weeks and a lot of it has been very negative. Congress fighting amongst themselves over Cap & Trade and Obamacare; Sarah Palin suddenly and unexpectedly stepping down as Governor of Alaska, Michael Jackson’s sudden sad departure. The non-racial racial insident in Cambridge that could only be resolved with beer at the White House… Whew!   

We still need to be “on our game” in keeping tabs on current events (and we will), but there also needs to be a little R&R fun for all of us to get us through the day and into the week-end.  That said, let’s take a look at June & July’s events through a slightly different perspective:

You know what? I give it an 85… it’s got a great beat, and best of all, it doesn’t have Barney Frank, Al Gore, Al Franken, Kim Kardashian,  Harry Reid or Sean Penn. Now that’s entertainment!

H/T: Politico

Gerry Ashley

No More Cash for Clunkers?

July 30, 2009


As reported by HotAir via Politico, it looks like Obama’s Cash-for-Clunkers program, which was planned  to expire at the end of October, will be clunking its last very soon, possibly as soon as midnight tonight. That’s right, it took less than a week for the program to rip through one billion dollars. How much of that money went to actual rebates and how much was overhead, is still unknown.

This is bad news for consumers, certainly. The program at least was able to generate enthusiasm in new car buyers, and incent them right into the doors of dealerships. This doesn’t take into account the problems many dealers are having navigating the government red tape in order to get the green of the rebates. It also happens to be bad news for other industries.

As someone who has worked for more than two decades in the advertising industry, my first thought when I heard that there was to be no more cash for clunkers was not about the consumers who won’t be able to take advantage of U.S. taxpayers’ generosity, nor about the cars that won’t be sold by the dealers. No.

My first thought was that the car companies and the dealers have sunk millions, possibly hundreds of millions of dollars into advertising; into getting people to walk into a dealership and even just ask about Cash for Clunkers. These campaigns in many cases are likely scheduled to run throughout the rest of the summer and into the fall, when it was expected that the program would end.

Now, not only are they out the money they spent on these dead aborning campaigns, but they also have to scramble with their agencies to get replacement ads in place. Time has already been purchased and scheduled on television and radio; space has been reserved for magazines and newspapers; algorithms have been calculated to get the most bang for the dealers’ bucks  for key words in search engines; online ads, pop-ups, point-of purchase, sports venues, endorsements, and on and on. The mind just reels when you think of all the planning, the creativity, the sweat…

Please don’t think I’m arguing that advertising is deathless prose or high art. I’m not. It’s advertising. But there is a lot that goes into planning, creating and placing those ads you see on TV, in the paper, and online. It involves dealers, agencies, studios, artists, meetings, ideas, and money, money, and more money. Money that dealers don’t have to spare, money that the automakers definitely don’t have to spare, and now, money that ad agencies don’t have, period.

The Law of Unintended Consequences is a powerful force; you ignore it at your peril. The Obama administration’s disregard for that law will hurt the consumers, the dealers, the auto makers, the ad agencies, and ultimately the administration itself.

UPDATE: Michelle Malkin reports that advertisers haven’t pulled any ads… yet. Could the program be resurrected? If so, it will still affect dealers, auto makers and ad agencies if there are any changes to the program — same amount of cash offered? Same list of clunkers? Same requirements? Same fine print. Regardless, there’s a lot of money being wasted because of this.


All the President’s Czars

July 30, 2009


Whew! Rep. Jack Kingston (R-GA)  created this knock-out on President Obama and his multitude of czars.

It just keeps getting worse and worse…

H/T: Michelle Malkin,


Doobie Diplomacy

July 30, 2009

Right off the bat, I’m going to admit that this is simply going to be an opinion piece. This isn’t the usual Grand Rants “research saturated”, thoughtful piece. Nope. This is off the cuff.

Here’s the deal. If I lock myself out of my house, and a neighbor sees me busting my way in and calls the cops, I have to explain myself. And if I refuse to provide ID to the responding cops and start yelling out on the front steps, I go to jail. I’m a public nuisance, I’m interfering with a police investigation, and I go to jail. And if I start yelling about a police officer’s “momma”, first I go to the hospital, and then I go to jail. (Sure, toss in resisting arrest…) That’s the way it is. And those charges will not be dropped.

Now enter the Prof, the Cop, and the Prez. Oh, lookie! Charges dropped! Better yet, let’s all gather at 1600 for a beer. The Prof wants it to happen because that little tantrum and its sequelae will further entrench him in the “struggles of the black community”. The Prez and the police unions want kumbaya to happen because they really don’t want to go to with war with each other. And the police officer doesn’t want to get caught in the middle of all this – bad for the career, don’t you know.

You watch. Just watch, This so-called Beer Diplomacy will be a great “teaching experience”. Lots of great pics, with the Prof’s and the Cop’s arms on each others’ shoulders. So this is where it’s at in our culture. (I guess it’s all in how you define “is”…)

I say we just have at it. We’ve lost the definition of words, and the meaning of words, let alone law. We are living in the Tower of Babel, What the hell, let’s just legalize pot and do stuff like this correctly: Doobie Diplomacy.

And no, I’m not kidding. Our society is acting like I used to act when I was stoned on my ass 30 years ago. Back then, objective words had multiple meanings, and reality was pretty damned distant and flexible. Kind of like today. Yup, I say we simply head for “Doobie Diplomacy” and let ‘er ride. Talking over beers? How passé. How about talking over beer bongs? If you think a few Buds will calm the nerves and help everyone gain insight, try a few bowls and a ton of “Funny Bones”.

obama stonedNow stick with me on this; Barack admits to smoking ganja, as does Dubya. Bubba says he didn’t inhale (Bwahahaha…. He’s either the biggest liar, or the biggest twerp. Take your pick.) Anyway, MaryJane ain’t new to the denizens of 1600, so if they’re going to act stoned, they might as well be stoned. Ditto for we the people.

Just picture it… Obama can hold one of his all-important press conferences and finally admit that he doesn’t know what the bleep is going on. (“Another Funny Bone please.”) He can talk with the likes of Iran, China, and North Korea and miss the whole damned shebang because he was trying to find his copy of Grateful Dead’s “Box of Rain”.

No seriously, this is where we’re at. Turbo Tax Tim Geithner can waft around the world claiming that the economy is sound whilst caressed by the Moody Blues “In Search of the Lost Chord”. (Jesus, three decades ago I soaked myself in that music… I sat in a treehouse on a hill in Harwichport, rested my eyes and felt the warm summer sun. At that point, I’m pretty sure I could have made an amicable deal with Beelzebub… How tough could Ahmadinejad be?)

I’m not kidding. Our government officials have left planet earth. Our long-term budget is wildly hopeless. (Sorry, I promised that I wouldn’t put research in this rant… Oops.) Our politicians lie without even blinking. (I’ll give you five days to research that assertion and how did you like the first two days?) The “Elected Ones” don’t even bother to read the bills their lobbyists write. Screw it! Let’s all get stoned! I say that we make Jonathon Edwards the first Pot Czar and go for it. We might as well, we’re already there — just without the weed.

Yeah, forget Beer Diplomacy and cut to the chase: Doobie Diplomacy is in… Now, don’t bogart that jay and where the hell is that box of Funny Bones?

UPDATE: Doug Powers, writing at Michelle Malkin’s blog, goes for Beerestroika: Drinking to Distraction

Alan Speakman

Please Don’t Go to D.C.

July 29, 2009

To: Sergeant James Crowley
Cambridge Police Department
People’s Republic of Cambridge, MA

Dear Sgt. Crowley,

You have nothing to gain by your planned trip to Washington D. C. to have a beer with two racists, and everything to lose.

All accounts from witnesses to released recordings of the 911 call to the recording of the incident itself exonerate you from the charges of racism that have been flung your way. Your history and your work record substantiate your behavior that night. Your colleagues are eloquent in their defense of you, and people famous, not quite as famous, and not famous at all, are standing up for you.

President Obama, the man who brought the entire incident into the limelight in the first place, is now trying to placate, well, everyone, I guess, by inviting you and Professor Gates to have a beer with him at the White House. His reasons for doing so are to prove that you’re all one big happy family, and to divert attention from the fact that the President of the United States commented outrageously and entirely inappropriately on something about which he knew nothing. He opened his mouth, spoke — in a nationally televised press conference — without knowing the facts of the case, and accused you and the Cambridge Police Department of acting stupidly.

The awful realities are obvious. The President is once again trying to back away from the fact that he is a racist. Professor (“Your Momma”) Gates is a racist. And, sadly, your police unions would happily throw your personal integrity under the bus to maintain a cozy relationship with 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

Please don’t pander to these racists and opportunists. Don’t legitimize their attempts to make this a “teaching moment” or a “learning moment” or whatever the phrase du jour is, by lending your presence (and thereby your tacit approval) to this farce.

Say no. Stay home.


BREAKING: A Politician Tells the Truth!

July 29, 2009


Well, this is refreshing… in a pathetic sort of way.

If you a) don’t have time to read the bill and/or b) don’t have the comprehension skills to understand the bill that you’re reading, perhaps Congress is not the correct place for you, sir.



Lady Sings the News: “That’s Pelosi”

July 28, 2009


Blame the Texans!