Now THAT’s a Scary Thought

August 10, 2011

You know, I’m beginning to have some frightening thoughts. For example, on Monday, as I simultaneously watched the President say nothing useful and the Dow plummet nearly 200 points, I found myself thinking that maybe Joe Biden wouldn’t make such a bad president after all.

Yes, I know, good old open-mouth-insert-foot Joe, they guy who, while introducing wheelchair-bound Sen. Chuck Graham, called to him to “[S]tand up, Chuck, let the people see you!”

The same Veep who was caught on mike during the Obamacare signing ceremony telling the President, “This is a big f*ing deal!”

The very same gentleman who was confused enough to think that JOBS is a three-letter word. Ah well.

Regular readers here probably know that I started Obama’s presidency unhappy but willing to give the man the benefit of the doubt and hoping for his success in office. In the intervening years, I’ve come to the conclusion that he’s, well, an idiot. I know that sounds harsh, but really, how else does one describe a man who speaks of 57 states, who is the Commander in Chief of our armed forces and, in a rehearsed speech, mispronounces the word “corpsman” not once, not twice, but three times? What else could you call someone who thinks there is language called Austrian? Who makes jokes about the Special Olympics?

This is a president who, by his abject insistence on “leading from behind,” by his disastrous inaction, by his complete lack of engagement with his job and his nation, has allowed our nation’s  AAA+ credit rating to drop for the first time ever.

When you look at it like that, even Joe Biden looks smart by comparison!

So maybe it’s time for Obama to step down and let his inspired choice for Vice President, good old Slow Joe, fill out the remainder of his term.

At this point, Joe could hardly do worse.


Top 10 Things NOT To Say During TSA Pat-Down

November 24, 2010

Not Recommended For Airport Travel

During this most busy travel season, delays are unavoidable. And with many people threatening to boycott the new TSA scanning/ pat-down process, delays are likely to be even longer.

As a public service to our readers,  I would like to offer a few suggestions that can minimize your delays and make your travel a bit safer and less burdensome.

Of course, the Obama administration gives exemptions to themselves regarding these new security requirements (ironic, don’t you think?). Michelle Malkin has a great piece on the epitome of chutzpah regarding this.  

Toward that end, and in the interest of avoiding what could be a 3-5 year delay on your travel (with accomodations provided by the “graybar hotel”), I offer the following things probably best left unsaid if you are selected for (or request) a pat-down inspection:

10.) Who me? Oh, I’m not actually going anywhere. But it’s been months since I’ve been on a date and…

9.)  I’m ready, and my seatback and tray tables are in their full upright position, if you get my drift.

8.) What do you say we get a couple of Long Island Iced Teas and then get down to business here?

7.) Try to avoid my stimulus package, will you?

6.) I think I’m gonna need a paper towel when you’re done.

5.) Oh  yes… yesssYES!!!!!!! (Sigh…) Got a cigarette?

4.) I just want to know one thing: Will you still respect me when you’re done?

3.) Ashes to ashes…dust to dust… if you know what’s best, keep your hands off my bust!

2.) Oh, I’m ready, all right… I’m traveling commando, if you know what I mean…

And the number one thing you should avoid saying during a TSA pat-down check:

1.) How much extra for the Happy Ending?

Here’s wishing all of our traveling readers a safe, molestation-free journey… and a very happy Thanksgiving!

Gerry Ashley
Grand Rants

The Abject Failure Of The Obama Presidency

April 6, 2010

Obama’s failure as president may actually be his goal for victory in converting America to socialism.

Property is the fruit of labor; property is desirable; is a positive good in the world. That some should be rich shows that others may become rich, and hence, is just encouragement to industry and enterprise. Let not him who is houseless pull down the house of another; but let him labor diligently and build one for himself, thus by example assuring that his own shall be safe from violence when built.  Abraham Lincoln, 1864


In 1942, William J. H. Boetcker, a Presbyterian minister, released a pamphlet entitled “Lincoln On Limitations”. This small publication included the above quote by Lincoln, but also included 10 well-thought-out statements written by Boetcker himself. Though these 10 statements have been incorrectly attributed to Lincoln by statesmen (including President Ronald Reagan), Boetcker’s proclaimations have become important guidelines in defining democracy …and how to maintain it.  

Now these words take on perhaps an even more important meaning, for they describe in clear terms, exactly how Barack Obama is systematically destroying all that Americans have worked hard to achieve – and died to protect for over 200 years.    

It could not be more clear:  

1. You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift.
2. You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong
3. You cannot help the poor man by destroying the rich.
4. You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred.
5. You cannot build character and courage by taking away man’s initiative and independence.
6. You cannot help small men by tearing down big men.
7. You cannot lift the wage earner by pulling down the wage payer.
8. You cannot keep out of trouble by spending more than your income.
9. You cannot establish security on borrowed money.
10 You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they will not do for themselves.   

While the sentiments expressed may appear to be obvious, it’s clear that some people, including many of those in our government, just don’t get it.

But virtually every move the Obama administration has made since taking office counters the overarching philosophy of these 10 tenets.  He’s attempting to bring kick-start prosperity by taking the nation into more and more debt; he is weakening strong companies and families by burdening them with more taxes, punitive tarriffs, and regulations; by continuing and expanding the entitlement culture, he is stealing people’s initiative and independence; he is doing nothing to encourage people to save money and live within their means; and he is demanding that the government do for people what they will not do for themselves.

I don’t know how long America can stand against an onslaught from within.

Gerry Ashley

Note: In the days and weeks to come, we’ll be examining each of these principles in greater depth. If you have any thoughts or examples of how the government is working against these principles, let us know and we’ll include them.

American History, Obama-rised

June 24, 2009


What’s this? President Obama talking tough about Iran? Could it be that the President-in-Training has received a spine transplant?

No, no such luck. But now that just about all the other Democracies of the free world have checked in with their condemnation of the Iranian government, Obama’s feckless “wait and see” response was beginning to look more and more impotent.

So, like a dime store novel everyone can predict, He stood at His carefully orchestrated (and oh, so predictable) press conference yesterday and used the strongest words yet to describe how He feels about developments in the Iranian protests. He staged an obviously rehearsed ” impromptu question” moment with a shill from the Huffington Post.  This enabled PrObama to use words like “appalled” and “outraged.” He even offered a tough expression almost as if He meant it. Yet He still “observed the moment,” rather than seizing it, once again preferring to “see how things play out.”

It got me to thinking: What if Obama had been President during other crises throughout America’s history? How different might have history looked? Well, let’s just see…

Boston, MA – (June 16, 1865 1775)

William Prescott: Mr. Obama, sir. The Redcoats have been occupying Boston now for nearly 2 weeks, fortifying themselves for battle at our expense. Now it’s been reported they are moving towards us and will be here shortly. We’re set up perfectly to surprise them sir and I strongly believe we can decimate them! I say we attack but not until we see the whites of their eyes! What say you?   

Barack Obama: Well, let’s not rush into this, Bill. I mean let’s look at the opportunity that lies before us. I have said repeatedly that I am willing to have a frank and meaningful dialog with their leader with no preconditions.

William Prescott: But sir, they have over 1,000 heavily armed troops marching towards us. That looks like a pretty serious “precondition” on their part, don’t you think? I say we start shooting as soon as we can see the whites of their eyes!

Barack Obama: Now hang on. Let me be clear: If we do that, that could conceivably be taken the wrong way and start a war. Look, they let that Paul Revere fellow go, didn’t they? I think it’s best for us to just wait here and see how this develops.

Washington, DC – (April 27, 1865)

Press Secretary Robert Gibbs (“PS Gibbs”):President Obama, It’s been nearly two weeks since President Lincoln was shot. Boothe has fled the city and is believed on his way out of the country. He needs to be stopped before he gets away!. What do you intend to do?

President Obama (“PrObama”): Well, I don’t want to be seen as jumping the gun here. You never know. He might just turn himself in. As for leaving the country, I think it’s premature to make that assumption. I think someone said he was scheduled to do Hamlet in Charlotte.  Let’s wait awhile and see how it all plays out. 

Washington, DC – (November 8, 1929)

PS Gibbs: Mr. President! Please! It’s been nearly 2 weeks since the stock market crashed. People have lost their life savings! Companies are shutting down left and right. There are literally people jumping out of high rise buildings to their death! What message do you want me to bring to the American people to calm their panic?

PrObama: Let me be clear: We don’t know for a fact that the people jumping out of buildings is related to the stock market crash. I think it’s important that we first rule out mass depression, or that maybe this is a mass suicide by some religious cult. I think it would presumptuous for us to make too many assumptions here that could send the American public the wrong message. If we’re not careful, we could intensify the very panic we’re trying to calm. Therefore, I think we should just wait awhile and see how it all plays out.

Washington, DC – (December 20, 1941)

PS Gibbs: Sir, it’s been nearly two weeks since the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor. Fires are still burning, the casualty count is enormous! A good part of our Pacific Fleet lies in ruins with most of it blocking the Harbor! What is your response? What will be your course of action?

PrObama:  Make no mistake: This type of attack is clearly unacceptable and the kind of thing that can strain relations with Imperial Japan. This, in turn, could jeopardize frank and honest discussions in the future. I mean, did any of us see this coming? Do any of us really know what’s behind this? If we rush into a response without knowing exactly what happened and why, we might be seen as meddling in something bigger. Accordingly, I think the best course of action is to wait and see how this plays out. 

Ah yes. There’s nothing like having a decisive leader who is able to make those crucial calls in time of crisis.

Gerry Ashley

These Are The Days…

April 1, 2009


So goes the old expression, as does the song by Natalie Merchant and 10,000 Maniacs. These are days you will remember.

Have you ever stopped to think about the magnitude of what’s happening to our society right now? What’s happening to the world right now? Be honest, if you’re an adult you probably haven’t had a gut feeling like this since you graduated from high school – for better or for worse something amazing is about to happen.

  • What was “Dubya Deficit” has become Obama “Hyper Deficit”
  • All the rules of contract just got tossed right out the window

Twenty years from now, we will remember these days.

Alan Speakaman