Riposte

February 8, 2013

SooperMexican does a great job of updating the “So God Made a Farmer” clip by Paul Harvey, most recently seen as a truck commercial in last week’s barnburner of a Super Bowl (even though the Pats didn’t play, it was quite a game).

The genius of SooperMexican brings us, “So God Made a Liberal”.

Enjoy. Share. And follow SuperMexican on Twitter: @SooperMexican

Stoutcat


Now That We Have Your Attention, Mr. President…

November 14, 2011

My long-time friend Giuliana called me from San Diego on Sunday. She mentioned that a friend of her Navy SEAL husband stationed at Coronado Island had tickets to a very special NCAA basketball game that was played on the Aircraft Carrier USS Carl Vinson out in San Diego on Veterans’ Day. You may recall that it was the USS Carl Vinson that handled the disposal at sea of Osama Bin-Laden’s body recently.

She was told that because the tickets were for “special VIP” seats, she would be subjected to an intensive background check.  Why a background check for an NCAA basketball game? Because her seat would place her adjacent to President Barack Obama and the First Lady, who attended the game as part of their Veteran’s Day “Let’s spend more taxpayer money on an unnecessary trip to San Diego” program.

Ready To Play

The President wound up getting an earful from Giuliana, who is not one to shy away from speaking her mind. It wasn’t long before she made it clear to the President that she was proud to vote for him in 2008 (being part of history in electing our first African American President. And yes, I do have many Liberal friends). But then she told the President that now she was embarrassed that she voted for him because, “You turned out to be totally different than the way you presented himself in your campaign speeches.”  When Obama asked for some specific examples, Giuliana mentioned a number of topics.

When the President asked her what her sources of information were that she was quoting from, she said, “From a blog written by my friend Gerry Ashley… it’s called Grand Rants.”  She told me that Obama stared at her and smiled as he wrote it down.

POTUS Watches Michigan State Spartans Vs. #1 Ranked North Carolina on the flight deck of the USS Carl Vinson

It’s a bit unnerving to know that The President (the most liberal and dangerously close to socialist President in our nation’s history) chose to write down the name of the blog himself. We already know he and his staff are skilled Internet users.

I spoke to Alan last night by phone and he assured me there’s nothing to worry about. “Grant Rants isn’t even a blip on their radar screen,” he tried to reassure me.  I thought back to the scorching 8-part piece I wrote on the Abject Failure of the Obama Administration over a year ago.  And I replied,“Well, so far, perhaps, but then that’s because they probably didn’t know we existed. That’s all changed now. Did you hear me, Alan? Barack Hussein Obama wrote down our blog address. Do you think that’s so he could send us an invitation to a beer party in the Rose Garden?

Alan laughed and said, “The most that will happen is that he’ll give this to a low level intern with instructions to check it out at their convenience. There’s nothing to worry about.”

Reassured, I hung up. But one question still remains: Should I offer coffee and donuts to the guys in the Black SUV parked across the street?

Gerry Ashley


Now THAT’s a Scary Thought

August 10, 2011

You know, I’m beginning to have some frightening thoughts. For example, on Monday, as I simultaneously watched the President say nothing useful and the Dow plummet nearly 200 points, I found myself thinking that maybe Joe Biden wouldn’t make such a bad president after all.

Yes, I know, good old open-mouth-insert-foot Joe, they guy who, while introducing wheelchair-bound Sen. Chuck Graham, called to him to “[S]tand up, Chuck, let the people see you!”

The same Veep who was caught on mike during the Obamacare signing ceremony telling the President, “This is a big f*ing deal!”

The very same gentleman who was confused enough to think that JOBS is a three-letter word. Ah well.

Regular readers here probably know that I started Obama’s presidency unhappy but willing to give the man the benefit of the doubt and hoping for his success in office. In the intervening years, I’ve come to the conclusion that he’s, well, an idiot. I know that sounds harsh, but really, how else does one describe a man who speaks of 57 states, who is the Commander in Chief of our armed forces and, in a rehearsed speech, mispronounces the word “corpsman” not once, not twice, but three times? What else could you call someone who thinks there is language called Austrian? Who makes jokes about the Special Olympics?

This is a president who, by his abject insistence on “leading from behind,” by his disastrous inaction, by his complete lack of engagement with his job and his nation, has allowed our nation’s  AAA+ credit rating to drop for the first time ever.

When you look at it like that, even Joe Biden looks smart by comparison!

So maybe it’s time for Obama to step down and let his inspired choice for Vice President, good old Slow Joe, fill out the remainder of his term.

At this point, Joe could hardly do worse.

Stoutcat


Obama Breath Mint Leaves Bad Taste In Liberals Mouths – And Exposes More Hypocrisy

August 6, 2011

Caution: May leave bitter taste in your mouth for years to come.

The left wing hypocrisy continues unabridged:  Tennessee Democratic State Representative Joe Armstrong was informed by a student at the University of Tennessee that a book store there was selling a breath mint called “Disapoint-Mints” which featured an image of President Obama on the cover.

Armstrong immediately went into hypocrite mode and demanded the product be removed as it was in poor taste, mocking the “sanctity” of the Presidency.  Rep. Armstrong  apparently didn’t have a problem with the same bookstore which sold similar products of political satire when George Bush was President.

This brings up a much larger issue:

Read the rest of this entry »


Civil Political Discourse? Riiiight!

January 12, 2011

Oh yes, please, let’s adopt legislation outlawing the use of bullseyes on maps. And while we’re at it, let’s tone down the inflammatory rhetoric, shall we? Because that will help bring us all back to a golden time when discourse, even political discourse, was civil and dignified. Right?

So say goodbye to terms like riding shotgun, bullet points, killer apps, not by a long shot, whipping into shape, battleground states, targeting your opponent, in the crosshairs, death panels, campaign strategy, and whatever else you can imagine as potentially deadly invective which would contribute to a climate of hate.

Don’t you see? The world will be safer if we all if all you wingnut redneck gun-totin’ Bible-clingin’ inbred hillbilly stump-jumpers would just tone it down a bit.

Of course, the problem with that attitude is that our discourse has never been terribly civil, or for that matter, free from bluster, ferocity, and vehemence. As far back as the founding of our nation, Thomas Jefferson famously wrote: “The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots & tyrants.” (And notice which group’s blood is mentioned first.)

Even today on shows as innocuous as the morning show “Fox and Friends”, NJ Governor Chris Christie was introduced in a segment with phrases like, “leading the charge” and “slash[ing] state budgets”.

Face it; our language–any language–is rife with turbulence. And because politics is so very personal, our political discourse is littered with fightin’ words, military metaphors, and just plain old violence. A quick look at a history of presidential campaign slogans (see? military term!) gives us the following:

  • 54″ 40″ or Fight
  • We Polked you in ’44, We shall Pierce you in ’52
  • Vote as You Shot
  • Tilden or Blood!
  • Rum, Romanism and Rebellion
  • Sunflowers die in November
  • Give ‘Em Hell, Harry

The world has, and probably always will have its share of crazy people and evil people; people who don’t require a reason to harm or maim or murder; and who aren’t set off by rhetoric of any kind. Like Jared Loughner, who as Ace at AOSHQ says:

“…The only thing I can rule out is that a “climate of hate” caused this– because I know for a fact, based on his writings and testimony of those who knew him, that he was not animated by right-wing politics at all…”

The violence inherent in language is part of life, and each of us learns how to deal with it in our own way. The very vast majority of us do just fine. That almost vanishingly small percentage who are truly evil or are hopelessly mentally ill are not swayed one way or the other by the language used around them. They are what they are, and society deals with them as best it can.

So don’t tell me what I can or can’t say, either in political discourse or in any conversation.

Them’s fightin’ words.

Stoutcat


Meet Monet Parham, Hypocrite and Wet Blanket

December 16, 2010


Hey kids, here’s a fun pop quiz! What do the following things have in common?

Cracker Jacks
Frosted Flakes
Little Orphan Annie
McDonald’s Restaurants

If you guessed that they are all products for kids which offer some sort of  toy or prize either inside the box or for collecting boxtops or labels–you are correct!

For at least half a century (if not longer) advertisers have been marketing directly to children by offering swell toys and prizes if only the kids will persuade Mom to buy items like those above. But Monet Parham of San Francisco is only suing McDonalds, oddly enough. Why not sue Pepsico, owner of Cracker Jacks, or Kelloggs, General Mills, or Post Cereals?

In fact Ms. Parham, who is a regional program manager working for the state of California on child nutrition matters, is suing McDonald’s on behalf of her daughter to force them to stop offering toys with Happy Meals, because, as she says:

What kids see as a fun toy, I now realise is a sophisticated, hi-tech marketing scheme that’s designed to put McDonald’s between me and my daughters.

‘For the sake of other parents and their children, I want McDonald’s to stop interfering with my family.

And as far as Happy Meals, why now? McDonald’s has been offering Happy Meals for over 30 years. Ms. Parham’s daughter is six years old… she has probably been of “Happy Meal age” for at least two years.

According to McDonald’s, a Happy Meal consists of a burger or chicken nuggets, a small portion of french fries or sliced apples, and a choice of low-fat milk or apple juice. Yet Ms. Parham is not suing to change the contents of the food in the Happy Meal, which her lawsuit claims is unsuitable for young children, but simply to halt the inclusion of a toy with the meal.

If she were really concerned about the children, shouldn’t she be pushing for McDonald’s (and by extension, all other companies which market less-than-healthy food to kids) to drop the fatty/sweet/salty stuff? Shouldn’t a stupid toy be the least of her worries?

But no, the problem is not the food, evidently. The problem is that she doesn’t want to say “no” to her kids when they ask for Happy Meals.

This litany of requests [to eat at McDonald’s] is draining and very frustrating for children. I would like this practice to stop.’ [Emphasis mine]

And so because one mother doesn’t want to discipline her children, McDonald’s will probably be banned from putting toys in with their Happy Meals, at least in the People’s Republic of San Francisco.

And just what kind of flak are Ms. Parham’s kids going to be taking from this lawsuit? How many of their friends will be saying, “It’s your fault we can’t get toys in Happy Meals anymore–your mom’s lawsuit spoiled it for everyone”?

Also spoiled: children’s chances for a learning experience about the real world:

UPDATE: Slublog weighs in with the commonsensical “Sue Your Way to Responsible Parenting!

H/T: Michelle Malkin

Stoutcat



Out of the Blue (State)

October 7, 2010


As a follow-up to my post of yesterday on the shenannigans of Massachusetts policicians (and their spouses), here’s another Blue State pol, albeit at a more local level, who must think that Mass voters are stupid.

Suzanne Bump is the former Secretary of Labor and Economic Development for MA Gov. “Coupe” Deval Patrick, and the current Dem nominee for State Auditor in Massachusetts. She and her husband own two homes. One is in the western Mass town of Housatonic, and the other is in South Boston. Somehow, Ms. Bump has deluded herself into thinking that she can register both homes as primary residences.

Mind you, she claims that she is following both the letter and the spirit of the law when claiming that:

  1. Her South Boston residence is her “principal” residence, and apparently has received tax reduction available for such residences since 2006 (which has saved her nearly $6,000); and
  2. Her Housatonic home is her “primary” residence, and has been since 2002, when she registered to vote there, thereby avoiding the extra assessment on non-resident home-owners. This has saved her $300-$400 per year.

While Ms. Bump apparently sees no discrepancy in this duplicity, her first instinct when asked about it was to deny all knowledge of it:

“Last Saturday, when the Globe first asked Bump why she and her husband claimed a residential tax break in Boston, as well, she said she had no knowledge of it.”

After more mature reflection, however, she changed her story:

“A few minutes later, she said: “It is reasonable to expect that at the time the decision was made, I was aware of it. But years later, I don’t recall the details.’

The chutzpah is amazing. Year after hear, Ms. Bump and her husband have claimed money on two separate primary/principal residences, and yet not only does she not recall the details, but she is sure she is well within the law in her actions in scamming as much money as she can out of a state that is nearly broke.

This is the woman who wants to be our State Auditor. She’s either a genius or an idiot. I’m just not sure which.

Stoutcat


The Beck/Sharpton Rallies: A Telling Dichotomy

September 1, 2010

Glenn Beck has been putting himself in a position ripe for parody and ridicule lately.  Beck predicted a miracle would happen at the Restore Honor Rally. To those who  scoffed, I submit exhibit A: 

Source: Video from Glennbeck.com

 

The military may have refused Glenn Beck a “flyover” to open his rally, but God didn’t disappoint. As the event prepared to begin, a skein of geese flew over in formation as if He was blessing the event from above. 

Beck also predicted the rally would be “a defibrillator to the heart of America.”  I’m not sure about that, but after the geese thing, I’m not betting against it. In fact, I”m going to go so far as to say it’s official: America is emerging from its self-induced coma. The attendance at the rally alone established that. 

Beck predicted the rally would be the next generation’s Woodstock. Let’s hope it was. Because just as Woodstock launched my generation’s justification for self (over-) indulgence to all things liberal, maybe this event can launch a generation that inspires the benefits of conservative values and an era of honor. By virtually all measures, the rally accomplished its goals. It was, indeed, a good week-end for those of us who still believe (as Ronald Reagan did) that America’s best days lie ahead. 

For an excellent re-cap of the event, please check the guest posting by Doug Powers at Michelle Malkin’s blog

But there was also an unfortunate affirmation this weekend that racism still plays a major role in the lives of some who chose to belittle and besmirch the work of the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. 

There were two rallies in Washington this past weekend. One headed by Glenn Beck and the other by Al Sharpton. Only one of the rallies stressed the kind of character, honor, accountability, and sense of unity necessary for America’s survival and recovery and was inclusive of all, regardless of race or religion. 

It’s no surprise that it wasn’t Sharpton’s. Read the rest of this entry »


How Do We Choose What To Write About Now?

August 17, 2010

You may have noticed that we have only two posts during the past week. Worse, this is after a two-week hiatus. You may be asking yourselves, “Why so little content when so much is happening?” That’s just the point. Where to begin?

If you think it’s easy choosing a topic to write about here at Grand Rants, think again. No, seriously. We have to think again and again ourselves. And it’s only getting more difficult because of the sheer volume of potential rants that occur every day.

Since the inception of “GR” two years ago, the intention of the writers has been to focus on our motto of “Our World Discussed.”  By that, we meant current events, politics, social issues, society in general etc.

Hard work has borne fruit as Grand Rants’ readership quickly exceeded our expectations.  And we’ve been proud of that, even if some of our work would have been better left on the editing room floor.

But as the weeks and months unfolded,  our focus gradually morphed into mostly following the exploits (and exploitation) of the Obama administration as their actions pretty much took over current events, politics, social issues, society in general etc. Acorn. Van Jones. Czar after Czar, avoiding any possible vetting by Congressional approval process. Stimulus packages.  Never in the history of this country has one administration done so much to so many, so quickly as to “fundamentally change” America.

But not for the better.

And it’s not just the Obama administration. It’s our society as well. We seem to have arrived on the corner of Chaos Street and Anarchy Drive because  not only do we suffer from a dearth of quality leaders in the politico who “lead (positively) by (good) example”  but, as a society, we seem to have lost our moral compass. As for our leaders, all they give us are examples of how to rid yourself of any shame for any wrongdoing. Congress (and not just the Democrats) has become Gordon Gecko on steroids. And make no mistake: The American public have been good students.

So then: What DO we write about now? The list is so long… But then, like clockwork, just when I think I”ll have to spend half the day trying to determine which topic is the most urgent, good ol’ Barry Sotero (aka POTUS) says or does something to negate my need to prioritize.

We have a POTUS who has done his best to be all things to all people on both sides of the fence. Apparently, he didn’t get the memo that stated you can’t fool all of the people all of the time.

This was most vividly illustrated over the last few days beginning with a White House dinner, celebrating the Muslim holy month of Ramadan. 

In his speech at that dinner, he defended the rights of Muslims to build a mosque within several blocks of Ground Zero in lower Manhattan. By all measures, using carefully worded phrases and emphasis, it appeared he was giving the building of the mosque his blessing, scoring points for himself amongst the Muslims gathered to feast in the White House.

But he followed this a day later by insisting he wasn’t endorsing the project at all. Just the right to build it. The target audience hearing the back-spin was of course, NOT the Muslims who had attended the dinner the night before, but an outraged America.

All things to all people. 

And the President has the chutzpah to think he can still pull it off – or, perhaps, the ego to simply not care.

Mr. President:  You’ve already had you shot at fooling most of the people some of the time: You got elected President.  But you’re not fooling anyone anymore with the exception of those who want to be fooled,  and those too gullible to know the difference.

Perhaps the bigger issue for Obama is how this is unraveling the Democratic Party. On Monday a spokesman for Senate Majority Leader (and tourist sniffing hound) Harry Reid broke ranks with the White House saying the Senator thinks the Mosque should be built elsewhere.

It’s all ’bout them polls, isn’t, Harry?  As the mid-term elections grow closer, look for more Democrats to abandon the Obama Express in favor of saving their own careers.

Rumor has it that Nancy Pelosi is even looking for a new word and it doesn’t rhyme with Obama.

I hope people will see through these self-serving gestures and simply look at the voting records of each of these self-serving turncoats. There, you will find the truth: They HAVE supported virtually every step Obama has taken. And they are largely responsible for the state of the country being where we are today.

The best we can do is remember our values, and hold on to them. And I hope each of you will “remember in November” just who put us where we are.

In the meantime, what would YOU like to see in Grand Rants? More political coverage? Less? More coverage on other day-to-day issues and human interest? 

See? It’s not so easy to narrow down that list, now, is it?

Let us know…

Gerry Ashley


Remember In November – Billboard #2

July 18, 2010

Here’s number 2 in our series of suggested Billboards to help people “Remember In November.”

Click to view full size. You are free to download and circulate as you like.

If you missed our first billboard, you can see it by clicking here.

I would only point out that, although the Billboard is a display of satire, please don’t become complacent regarding the significance of this mid-term election. It’s one of the most important and decisive elections this country has ever faced: America is under attack from within. We’ve seen the evidence mounting:

  • After only days in office, President Obama and the Democratic Congress (backed by a few traitor Repubicrats) teamed up to ram through Congress and sign a stimulus package we were told had to be done immediately in order to cap unemployment at 8.5%. The bill was never posted for the 5 days Obama assured the American public (during the Presidential Campaign) on the Internet for us to read before he signed it. To date, unemployment has gone as high as 10% (much higher in areas of the country) and currently sits at about 9.5%. It was recently reported that only about 1/3 of the money has been spent, yet the lame duck congress (after the election and before the new congressmen take their seats in January 2011) is expected to pass yet another stimulus package. Many think Obama is using this money as a slush fund to buy support from legislators.
  • Barack Obama and Congress teamed up to shove health care reform down our throats, against the will of the majority of Americans. In doing so, the government has taken control of over 1/6th of our economy in one fell swoop. Implementation begins with new steep taxes in 2011, but actual benefits will not be provided to the masses until 2019.
  • In a stunnng accusation,  former Department of Justice employee J. Christian Adams details how the Department of Justice (under Obama appointee, Eric Holder) is racially biased against whites claiming that Holder was told by officials in the Obama administration to back off prosecutions of blacks who commit crimes against whites, but aggressively prosecute cases where white(s) allegedly have committed crimes against blacks. A black elected official in Noxubee agreed, during a deposition,  that racially discriminatory behavior against whites occurred. “But you got to understand,” he explained, “now it’s payback time.

No, what we need to understand is that we have a chance in November to START turning America’s ship back to a democracy. But we can only do it if everyone legally eligible to vote exercises that right.

Gerry Ashley