Obama Reassures Us, Dow Immediately Plunges

There’s an old expression that goes, “It’s better to keep your mouth shut and have people think you’re a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.”

"The U.S.A. Is Quad-A Rated. That's ONE Better Than The Rest."

In what has to be seen as a defining moment in Barack Obama’s failed presidency, the POTUS Ignoramus took to the airwaves today to “reassure the American people” that America is still doing well under his leadership, and that Standard & Poor’s downgrade of America’s credit rating was obviously a mistake.

The telling moment: Just after Obama suggested that the way to restore our credit rating and to overcome our debt problems is to spend more money on government projects, the Dow responded by dropping more than 100 points in just over a minute.

By 4PM the Dow had plunged a total of approximately 630 points for the day.  NASDAQ lost 80 points. It was the first time The Dow-Jones had closed under 11,000 since October of 2010.

I guess that would make what we have left, “Change we can live on?” Too bad America doesn’t have a “Vote of No Confidence” eh?

Of course, as Doug Powers points out, the Democratic Ignorami quickly huddled and came out united behind a new talking points memo.  Within minutes of each other, John “Have I reminded you I’m a Vietnam Veteran?” Kerry, Howard “Shriek” Dean and David Axelrod all came out with press releases or public statements using the term Tea Party Downgrade.

Our tongue-in-cheek department did an independent research and discovered the President’s secret team of Liberal Obfuscationists Spreading Erroneous Responsibility Statistics (L.O.S.E.R.S.) quickly released their own report which rejected Stand & Poor’s rating and immediately upgraded America’s credit rating to “Quad A” status. When told the highest level available on the S&P scale was TRIPLE A, a spokesman for the LOSERS responded (in his best Spinal Tap accent), “Right. Well we’re QUAD-A rated because we’re one better than the rest.”

Yep… right after we get a balanced budget amendment to the Constitution, I think our next point of order is to invoke a “No Confidence Vote” amendment so we don’t have to remain stuck with a President who thinks America has 57 states… or that the best way to get out of debt is to borrow and spend even more.

Gerry “No Stocks” Ashley

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