Monsterometer vs. Frog Exaggerator

If you’re a fan of The Simpsons, you probably recall the episode which the title of this post refers to: Searching for the Loch Ness Monster, Professor Frink accidentally uses his “frog exaggerator” instead of the Monsterometer to track what he believes to be Nessie:

So it goes with the Fourth Estate and Anthony Weiner (and Van Jones, Mark Foley, Bill Clinton, Charlie Rangel, Barney Frank, William “Cold Cash” Jefferson, and the litany goes on and on.)

Folks, in the case of Weiner et al, we’re using the Frog Exaggerator where we should be using the Monsterometer. We’re freaking out over what is essentially a dirty, tawdry story of a powerful little man, er, spanking the light fantastic without touching a woman (caveat: should minors turn out to be involved, that whole narrative will change.)

In other words, we have a frog on our foot, and our moral compass is blowing it out of proportion. Yes, Weiner is a dirty, lying, lecherous, grasping, selfish, sack of steaming fertilizer from a loose-boweled, feral elitist pig. But in the larger scheme of things, he’s just a little frog on this Republic’s foot. He is not the problem. The problem is that we are mistaking the frogs for actual monsters, which do exist and which desperately need to be addressed. But until we identify the frogs simply as frogs, the real monsters will continue to wreak havoc unabated.

And here be monsters, indeed. Our culture is super-saturated in hubris, greed, agenda, arrogance, and general lack of morals–in our government, in our media, and in our people. Our nation is insolvent and teetering on the brink of hopeless indebtedness to foreign powers. Due to insane government policies, energy prices are rising and likely to skyrocket any day. Our borders are open and those who wish us harm are streaming across without hindrance. The fact that our politicians and media are corrupt and venal is, sadly, among the least of our worries.

We should be using the Monsterometer to identify and fix the real problems. Instead we’re obsessed with the exaggerated frogs at our feet.



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