If the country weren’t in such bad financial shape, this would actually be funny. Or at least, you know, fun to mock, in a disbelieving sort of way.
It seems that the state of Florida is spending a boatload of cash in order to buy capes for the jobless. I guess it’s to make them feel good about being unemployed or something. According to the Orlando Sentinel:
Dubbed the “Cape-A-Bility Challenge,” a $73,000 public-relations campaign by Workforce Central Florida features a cartoon character named “Dr. Evil Unemployment” and includes handing out about 6,000 red superhero capes to jobless Central Floridians…
“The plight of the unemployed is why we exist,”[Workforce Central Florida Executive Director Gary J.] Earl wrote, “and to help them, we have to engage them, introduce them to our services and connect them with job opportunities.”
Apparently, engaging the unemployed requires forcing them to imagine themselves as fictional superheroes. It might be of more benefit if the agency helped them envision themselves as actual job-holders.
Given the way things are going these days, we can only hope that each cape comes with a “Does not actually endow the user with the ability to be faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, and to leap tall buildings in a single bound” disclaimer. In Spanish. And Portuguese. And Russian, Arabic, French, Polish, Italian, German, Chinese, and Thai. Maybe even in English.
Because if the state of Florida is going to treat adults like third-graders, they shouldn’t be surprised if those adults act like third-graders… and actually try to out-muscle a locomotive or outrun a speeding bullet. In which case, central Florida becomes Lawsuit Central.
We’re doomed, I tell ya. Doomed