Liberals at the Bat

With apologies to Ernest Thayer.

The outlook wasn’t brilliant for the Liberal gang today:
The House looked sure to lose it, and the Senate was in play.
And when Blanche Lincoln lost her race, and Grayson did the same,
A sickly silence fell upon the Left side of the game.

A straggling few showed up and cast their votes in deep despair.
The rest would cling to hope and change around the precincts there;
They thought, “If we could only just explain to all the dopes
The wonders of the Nanny State, we might not be on the ropes.”

But Reid crashed in Nevada*; though Mass kept Barney Frank,
You see Harry was a lulu but dear Bawney’s just a crank;
So upon that stricken multitude grim melancholy falls,
For there seemed now little chance to hold the Senate‘s hallowed halls.

For Rubio took Florida while Kentucky captured Rand;
In Delaware and Hartford Libs then schemed to keep command.
But Feingold in Wisconsin boded poorly for the night
And stolid old New Hampshire went entirely to the right.

The Libs then called on ACORN and their SEIU thugs.
The pollwatchers were outraged as they saw those ugly mugs;
“Why are you marking ballots for illegals and the dead?”
The unionists grinned broadly; “That’s just our style,” they said.

And now the pundits and the talking heads began to blare,
And the Libs stood by a-watching them in haughty grandeur there.
Close by their ACORN henchmen and their minions looked ahead –
“We’ve got to win!” said Liberals. “Strike one,” O’Reilly said.

Then from the throats of Libs galore there rose a lusty yell;
It rumbled through the valley, it rattled in the dell;
It knocked on purple mountains, wafted o’er the fruited plain:
“We’ve still got O and Dopey Joe help us ease our pain!”

“We’ve got  Black Panthers in Texas finding out who they can shove
To get the folks in Houston all to vote for White for Gov.”
But even then ‘twas far too late, as Perry’s vote count flew;
But the Panthers still ignored it; Sarah Palin said, “Strike two.”

“Fraud!” cried the maddened thousands, and echo answered fraud;
But one look from We the People and the Liberals’ base was awed.
They saw the faces stern and cold across this mighty land,
And they knew their Liberal leaders had to let the vote just stand.

The gavel’s gone from Nancy’s grasp; this day’s delivered shocks;
Her face has froze in grimace wild, from far too much Botox.
Her breath now comes in gasps as she’s escorted from the room
And Dems and Libs all stand aghast ‘gainst their impending doom.

Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sky is blue and bright;
And there’s unicorns a-playing under CFLs each night,
And Welfare lasts forever, and Big Brother reigns no doubt;
But there is no joy in Libville – the Progressives have struck out.


*Expecting that recounts in NV will put Sharron Angle over the top.


3 Responses to Liberals at the Bat

  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Stoutcat and Stoutcat, Grand Rants. Grand Rants said: RT @Stoutcat: "There is no joy in Libville — the Progressives have struck out!" #tcot #election2010 […]

  2. Josie says:

    Wild and wonderful!

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