Once again, President Obama has made a speech on prime-time TV. And once again, I didn’t waste my time watching it. But there are others who did, God bless their little hearts, and actually live-blogged it while watching. Foremost among those live-bloggers is, of course, Steve Green of VodkaPundit.
According to Mr. Green, he switched from his premium brand to Absolut Citron at the very beginning of the speech, not wanting to waste “more of the good stuff on that guy.” And there wasn’t much good stuff about the speech, either, and sadly, what there was, came not from the Presidend, but from those watching and commenting.
5:01PM While we wait, the best we can do is hope and pray the President convenes a panel of experts. And panel of ass-kicking experts.
5:04PM Shorter Obama: “Hurricanes are easy. Leaks are hard.”
5:07PM Speed? Day 57, buddy. I’ve also heard that Gov. Jindal STILL doesn’t have permission to build the sea wall he just ordered built.
5:09PM The Secretary of the Navy is going to develop a plan. With a panel, and perhaps even a commission.
5:11PM I will lose hours of sleep and suffer nightsweats over the image of “corporations pleasing themselves.”
5:13PM They’re drilling a mile beneath the ocean because ANWR is closed and so are the shorelines. (The “you lying bastard” clause at the end is implied.)
5:19PM Well that was mercifully free of content.
5:20PM Seriously, I feel so unsatisfied.
5:20PM There wasn’t even enough meat to make proper fun of. Proper ass-kicking fun.
5:21PM I keep waiting for somebody else to come on TV, maybe a cabinet member, to read the real speech, the one that tells us… I dunno… stuff.
And from Althouse, whose commenters are among the smartest, cleverest, and snarkiest in the blogosphere (although their language is a bit salty at times):
The Drill SGT: “I approved offshore drilling because I was told it was absolutely safe.” I also believe in the tooth fairy.
David: Lack of candor. “China is investing in clean energy.” And coal, of course, but why mention that?
The Drill SGT: “investing in clean energy jobs.” I can’t wait for the bill to come due
David: A Katrina mention was cool. And Wind! Wow. He knows about wind. Accelerate the transition to wind . . . Accelerate = subsidize.
mesquito: “addiction to fossil fuels” Take the booze away from the drunk, his life gets better. Take the oil from an industrial society, and life gets very, very bad.
mesquito: Holy sh*t. President Filibuster is already done!
JAL: “I approved offshore drilling because I was told it was absolutely safe” He said that? Who in their right mind would ever SAY that? He is lying. “China is investing in clean energy?” He said that? Hahahaha the biggest industrial polluters on the planet. Of course they *are* investing in clean energy. So am I when I buy a clothes line for outdoors.This is what happens when you elect someone with no real world experience in anything but schmoozing with the community of choice. He doesn’t even have good advisors. (Or he ignores the ones he has.)
Quayle: “We are addicted to oil.” I tried putting water in my car and it didn’t like it.
Dust Bunny Queen: Think of the oil leak in real life terms in your own home.You didn’t watch your kids very well and they went and broke one of those light bulbs that contain mercury. (You know… the ones that Obama wants us to use.) So instead of cleaning up the mess you decide to throw out all of the light bulbs in your house, beat your children to within an inch of their lives and decide to invent a new light bulb. Nevermind that you will be sitting in the dark for 15 years or that you don’t have a f***ing clue on HOW to invent a light bulb. Meanwhile you have broken glass and mercury all over your house.
Maybe we should have elected a MOM in chief instead of a planner. Mom would have cleaned up the mess, disciplined the kids and made some sandwiches.Oh….also…you plan to make all of your neighbors pay for your new project and take away all of their light bulbs too.
New “Hussein” Ham: “Well, that was a terrible speech!” Here’s how terrible it was … the booster club at MSNBC thought it was a horrible speech. If Barack Obama can’t get his own cheerleaders to root for the home team, he’s f***ing done.
Maybe we’ll try live-blogging his next speech, which will probably be in another week or two, when we’re running out of booms. Or maybe the President will address the nation again when he finally decides that the country is more important than his union thugs and waives the Jones Act. Or perhaps his next speech will be when BP declares bankruptcy.
Who knows? But let’s hope there will be more scope for mockery next time he addresses us peons.