The Accidental Candidate: Meet Alvin Greene


It reads like a pitch for a great Hollywood comedy:

Alvin Greene

A virtually unknown, unemployed vet who was kicked out of the military after 13 years and has a felony charge pending against him decides to run for the Democratic Senate nomination against a widely-backed and widely funded lawmaker.  With NO campaign staff, no campaign fund and virtually no idea what’s going on in Washington, he wins by a commanding margin.

It’s the great American dream, right? Well, if you’re the South Carolina Democratic Party it turns out to be the great American Nightmare: After the election, it was discovered that Alvin Greene, 32 year-old unemployed Vet was arrested last November in Columbia, S.C. for allegedly showing obscene photos to a college student, and trying to follow her to her dorm room. Court records show he was charged with “disseminating, procuring or promoting obscenity.”

Sounds like he’d fit right in up in Washington.

On Wednesday, South Carolina Democratic Party Chair Carol Fowler asked Greene to withdraw from the race for U.S. Senate because of the arrest. Greene has refused. Sure, why not? What unemployed alleged pervert would turn down a job that pays $174,000 per year and where debauchery is considered normal behavior?

Asked  how he would have voted on TARP (Troubled Asset Relief Program), Greene replied, “TARP? What’s that?”  You know, being a Democrat that doesn’t know what TARP is could be his strong point. 

Greene showed an equal amount of awareness when asked questions in other areas, and begged off responding with a Washington-like, “I’ll have to look into that and get back to you.” 

When asked what his platform will be based on, not surprisingly Greene said “Unemployment.”  The vet who, as a specialist, was stationed in Korea for a year, added he would like foreign relations to be part of his candidacy: “I think there should be one Korea under a democracy, done peacefully,” he said. Greene added that this could best be accomplished through “diplomatic efforts.” He might want to check with Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, seeing as how she’s made such progress in that area.  

Yeah, looks like incumbant Jim DeMint has his work cut out for him all right.

Meanwhile, I’ve gotta start work on a script for this. Anyone got Damon Wayan’s phone number?

Gerry Ashley


2 Responses to The Accidental Candidate: Meet Alvin Greene

  1. WilliamA.Barrow says:

    Appears somebody did not do their job on weeding this IDIOT! out of the running,what other IDIOT’s!supported
    him in even thinking he would win,sounds a LittleShady at best,But,can’t do no worse than the Democrat’s already there,they are at best marginal IDIOT’s.
    Signed By:A Veteran,US Army Ret.

    • Gerry Ashley says:

      With the charges pending against him, it makes one ask: Who does he think he is? A Kennedy?

      There was an election – I can’t remember where it was – but the official winner was “None of the above.” And I just have to chuckle… how bad does your life suck if you run for office and are beaten by “None of the above?” But to have BOTH candidates lose… well that says an awful lot about the candidates that choose to run for office, I’m afraid.

      Indeed, it seems like nowadays voters are required to choose between “The Lesser of Two Weasels.”

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