Hey Joran, This is Your Short and Horrific Future: Velociraptors

Just watched an interview with international attorney Michael Griffith describing the Peruvian prison system. Not pretty:

Seems to me, Joran, that the following might be a good metaphor for the situation in which you’ll soon find yourself…

Except that there will be no John Willliams score, no dramatic rescues, no heroes, and you’ll be all alone…

Joran, by your own word, you arrogantly, callously, murdered the beautiful daughter of a very important man. It is what it is.

My honest advice Mr. Van der Sloot? Find a way to kill yourself now. Because if you don’t, you’re going to wish that all you’d have to deal with is a pack of velociraptors.

Alan Speakman


8 Responses to Hey Joran, This is Your Short and Horrific Future: Velociraptors

  1. That poor kid.
    He should at least get to go to jail in his own country.

    • Stoutcat says:

      Your empathy is admirable, if misplaced. Van der Sloot is not a “poor kid,” he is a brutal man, funded by both a parent who should know better, and by extortion from another mother whose daughter he murdered.

      Yet again, this man callously murdered a young woman in a foreign country. Only this time, he was caught, returned to that country to be tried, and if found guilty, to serve his sentence. If only he had be caught and tried the first time he did it, Peru might not have lost one of its daughters.

      He gets no tears from me.

    • Gerry Ashley says:

      With all due respect, for the life of me, I fail to grasp your sentiment. I acknowledge that there are probably many others who feel as you do (“that poor kid…”)

      Where’s the outrage that you should feel for someone who has admitted to snapping the neck of a young woman (most likely not his first)? Where’s your “that poor kid” for the VICTIM(s)?

      By nearly all accounts, it’s Van der Smug’s second murder of a woman whose only crime was that they probably said “No!” to his advances. Rich spoiled brats are used to getting their way, and their rich parents all too often never teach them that you can’t always get what you want. His father’s money got him off the hook the first time faster than you could say “William Kennedy Smith.” But the luck of the monster has ran out.

      Why should he be entitled to go to jail in his own country? He traveled to other countries to commit his atrocities. You do the crime in a foreign land, you do the time there as well.

      “The Poor Kid?” No… The Poor Victims and their families. Van der Scum will get what’s coming to him FINALLY. And maybe that will help bring some closure to the grieving families.

      If anything, we should all be grateful that Van der Sloot was stopped before he was able to rack up a body count like Ted Bundy. And Van der Sloot deserves no more pity than Bundy.

      Frankly, there’s a part of me that says, “I hope he DOESN’T get the dealth penalty. Hell can wait. What lies ahead for him in the Peruvian prison system is far worse than a quick death.

      Either way, he might just as well keep his eyes wide shut, for whether it’s a quick execution or life in prison, he’s going to be staring into the gaping maws of hell.

      And deservedly so.

  2. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Fausta, Stoutcat. Stoutcat said: The Short and Horrific Future of Joran van der Sloot: http://bit.ly/de82KJ #tcot […]

  3. Birdseed anarchist says:

    That Poor Kid!!!???
    This is of course a joke, right?
    Get to go to jail in his own country? What?, another joke, right?
    If you are serious, you have your head very far up your a–. With all due respect.

  4. LeChat says:

    Van Der Sloot is getting pretty much what he deserves. Not only is he a murderer, but he is stupid to boot. It will be interesting to see how long he survives in prison.

  5. bruce says:

    god’s pay back.

  6. bruce says:

    this is god’s pay back!

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