Yeah, you heard me, we need one more law… The “Stupid Law”.
I learned of the need for this law years ago from a buddy who was an MP (now I guess they call ’em “PMO”) in the U. S. Marine Corps. He would routinely bust people who would leave the base, scurry into the woods across the street, and then smoke a bone. Using a starlight scope, he and others would observe and then arrest.
My friend said that every bust would be followed by the predictable accusatorial, “You’re only arresting me because I’m a guy“; or “You’re only arresting me because I’m a woman“; or “You’re only arresting me because I’m black“; or “You’re only arresting me because I’m white“; or “You’re only arresting me because I outrank you“; or “You’re only arresting me because you outrank me“… And to each asinine plea my pal would respond with the truth – “No, I’m arresting you because you’re stupid.” In his eyes, those idiots broke the “Stupid Law”. (My compadre was no stranger to the wacky weed, he was just smart enough to cover his tracks.)
So what exactly is this “Stupid Law”? Well, by way of explanation, here are a few examples. (Note: Some of the examples include description and some don’t. You figure it out…)
- Shepard Fairey: What do you say about blatant and ongoing plagiarism? ” Oops, I pulled a Ward Churchill!
- There’s the “Balloon Boy” parents… Stinks when you’re caught in a pathetic, immature, ridiculous, hubristic, even dangerously moronic lie.
- Ronan Tynan and his anti-Semitism… “It was stupid of me to be so callous, and I would never want to hurt anybody’s feelings…” Umm… Ronan… You had a pretty good gig going… Best to just sing and otherwise keep your mouth shut.
- Larry Craig: Larry! Put down the toilet paper and leave the stall alone!
- Bill Clinton didn’t inhale
- Bill Clinton… Oral sex ain’t really sex
- Fox News not being a “real” news organization
- Trying to reason with a government who encourages people to blow themselves up.
Anyhow, you get the idea. We’re talking about a law that any common citizen who has a brain and isn’t agenda-blind can cite as a raging example of “Stupid”… My old friend was spot on: I’m not busting you because you’re smoking pot… I’m busting you because you’re stupid.
When all is said and done, the “Stupid Law” is just a repercussion of “Unthink” (“… the ability to remove facts, reason, and viable memories from the cognitive process.”)
Yup, just one more law and all will be right with the world…