Whoopee! Being an armchair news analyst like so many of you, I’ve heard a gazillion figures bounced around regarding the number of clunkers cashed in (from 23,000 to 133,767 to Ray Lahood’s guesstimate of 157,000 to who knows what whenever…) But the bottom line is that this is a big “Whoopee!”We’re talking about throwing around 1,000 piles of cash, each pile containing $1,000,000.00. That’s right… One thousand piles of greenbacks, each pile consisting of a million smackers. Ummm, no wonder no one can pin down the numbers… Now how’s that for clunker math?
Please, let me just appeal to your common sense. Forget about the millions of dollars that are being funneled out and siphoned off to all the politicians and their buddies. Forget about it. Chalk it up to politics as usual. No… Pick your party and then try to push aside the political blinders… Do you really think that all those car dealers are going to destroy those vehicles? Gee, I wonder if most of those still-good crates will find homes in Central or South America.
Once again, politics aside… Do you really think dealers and mechanics can’t play footsie with VINs and parts? (Sorry to burst your bubble, but I replaced my first transmission back in ’76… In the “Grey Matter Dept.” the folks who work in junk yards, grease pits, and dealerships have the politicians beat eight ways to Sunday… I’ve hung around with both, and I’m just saying…)
So what will this cash for clunkers legislation do? Come on, in your heart of hearts you know. It will do zilch for the environment. It will slather the pockets of special interest groups, unions, and oh those benevolent politicians. It will give the mainstream media the warm and fuzzies (I can feel a tingle in my leg even now). Never mind that it will hike up taxes down the road; never mind that. After all, taxes are for the “Big People” and not the “little people” like you and me…
Ultimately, when our national spending binge has passed the stage of “blackout” and entered the “hangover” we will sit back and ponder the ramifications of clunker math. Perhaps the more accurate description would be drunken math… But for the moment… Whoopee!