National Security and the Illicit Hokey Pokey

Why is it that I always have to write these stupid posts? I mean, someone has to write this stuff, but why always me? All right, all right, all right, here’s my premise; power players like Congressmen, Senators (John Ensign, and Mark Sanford are just two immediate examples), and Presidents alike should avoid the covert hoochie coochie because it presents a threat to national security. My justification…

  • To be horribly indiscreet on a most indiscreet subject… Humans can deliver a substantial bite. Teeth (let alone a ball point pen or a stapler) can maim and intimidate, especially at that special moment.
  • Typically, the “action on the side” hasn’t been properly vetted. Duh!
  • Almost always (one would guess), hidden “whoop-dee-doo” is cavorted without the oversight of security.
  • Of course, there are the issues of photography/blackmail, disease, and pregnancy.
  • And beyond doubt is the issue of national security itself.

Yeah, go ahead and yuck it up, but there’s a reason why you know the name Mata Hari. But how about the names Won Jeong-Hwa, Katrina Leung, and Princess Stephanie Julianna von Hohenlohe?

I don’t know, I come from a different angle of reasoning. But it seems to me that folks like Ensign and Sanford (and all the others who haven”t yet been caught with their pants down) should keep the zipper up… If not for themselves, then for the common good.

Putting it another way… It’s patriotic to not screw around!

Alan Speakman


3 Responses to National Security and the Illicit Hokey Pokey

  1. Gerry Ashley says:

    I hear you loud and clear. I think it’s high time politicians go back to their roots and realize their job is to screw the taxpayers as a WHOLE, and not one at a time. It’s just more cost effective that way.

    Kidding aside, I agree that politicians have more than just a moral obligation to “keep it in their pants.” The issue of compromising national security ALONE (as Clinton did with Monica) ought to be reason enough. But then, again, Joe Biden has done more damage security wise with his MOUTH (divulging the location of the.

    One caveat, however: Until society as a whole starts keeping it’s own pants zipped up, the sooner we can demand the same of our elected officials. Until then, save for the Security concerns, there’s a bit of hypocrisy involved.

  2. Gerry Ashley says:

    Oops… I seem to have left off the end of one sentence: I was referring to Joe Biden verbally divulging the not-so-secret-anymore location of the Vice President’s secured bunker. You know… kinda like the one the President has at 1256 Wisconsin Avenue underneath the adult bookstore (hey, what do you want? It was installed while Clinton was President).

  3. LnddMiles says:

    Pretty cool post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say
    that I have really liked reading your blog posts. Anyway
    I’ll be subscribing to your blog and I hope you post again soon!

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