Ensign Resigns… And I’m Confused


As we reported earlier, Sen. John Ensign (R) of Nevada just resigned his leadership position in the Senate after admitting to an extramarital affair. He can now shamefully join the astonishingly long list of powerful middle-age men (Jesse Jackson, John Edwards, Bill Clinton…) who just can’t seem to control themselves. I mean seriously… The list goes on forever. What is the problem here? This is a big hit for the GOP — not to mention Ensign’s loved ones. Again, what is the problem here?

Well, these are the possible explanations (or non-explanations) as I see them…

  • These men fell in love with the “other woman”: That happens – love is tricky business. Except that when these turkeys got caught, each of them dumped the “other woman” like she had an STD.
  • Were they particularly virile or perhaps mainlining Viagra? I guess that’s a possibility. But then again, the option for romance at home would exist.
  • How to put this next alternative politely? Have these individuals never considered a brief private retreat to “Camp Spanksalot”? I mean, they do have hands right? I guess they choked that notion out.

Maybe they were facing some crushing mid-life crisis and needed to “reaffirm their manhood”… Uhhh… Losing some weight and doing some lonely push ups would probably have addressed that issue rather well.

Bottom line? I think we all know what the bottom line is… This is 2009 in America. People who engage in this kind of hanky panky behavior are selfish, weak, power junkies whose integrity and honesty extend no more than three inches beyond their abdomen. And these are our leaders. These are the people we trust, we look up to, …and we voted for!

Deep sigh…

Alan Speakman


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