I guess this means that we the taxpayers own GM now, right? After all, we (in the form of President Obama) fired GM’s CEO.
So as one of the new bosses, here’s what I want from GM:
- A new design for a non-polluting engine to be installed on all GM cars by, oh, say, 2015. Plenty of time to develop that.
- The engine has to run on air, or water, or something plentiful and cheap. And get great milage out of whatever fuel it does use.
- And it has to do 0-80 in 6.5 seconds.
- It has to be able to fly.
- And in order to get it re-fueled, all you have to say is, “I re-fuel thee, I re-fuel thee, I re-fuel thee!”
- Oh, and of course, it has to be safe, so that in the event of a flying 80 mph head-on collision, the driver and passengers must be able to float down from the aerial wreck on parachutes that feel like goose-down pillows and are scented with sandalwood (or jasmine).
- And the workers who build these autos must work in factories that open onto sunny beaches, where pina coladas are served during break times.
- After the 3 1/2 hour work day is done, workers may receive mandatory double-plus extra overtime if they so choose, by working an extra hour, or by taking a nap.
That’s all I want from my car company. What about you?
Oh, and I only have one question. When do we get to fire the head of the UAW?
H/T: Riehl World View