Pres. Obama: Please Stop Saying “Klaatu Barada Nikto”

The news is now out that President Obama “Hints at talks with Taliban“.

Now, for those of you not familiar with the phrase in the title of this post, it was the crucial code that would stop “Gort” the robot from retaliating should his master (stern but benevolent E.T. “Klaatu”) come to harm via the earthlings… Of course, in the 1951 classic, harm does comes to Klaatu, and it’s only the heroine’s utterance of “Klaatu barada nikto” that saved the day from robot Gort. Ultimately it was Klaatu, Gort, and their advanced civilization that brings our world to its senses and all ends well.

The problem is that in the real world of cult terrorists, there is no talking with those robots – they’re not civilized. We can utter no “Klaatu barada nikto.” Neville Chamberlain tried the phrase in 1938 and it didn’t work out so well. For decades the U.N. has been screaming the nonsensical peace mantra, and that too has failed miserably.

Look, our grandfathers understood this when they faced genocidal cult cultures in Germany and Japan, and did what they had to do… Brutal, but effective. Put another way, you don’t try to play “Nice” with the stuff of rabies.

Mr. President, Sir… If you think that you’re going to be able to “negotiate” with “moderate” elements of the Taliban, you’re going to be more embarrassing than a $16 plastic helicopter at a formal gift-giving. But then again, maybe if you painted “Klaatu barada nikto” on the side of the toy helo and gave it to them…

Alan Speakman


3 Responses to Pres. Obama: Please Stop Saying “Klaatu Barada Nikto”

  1. Smoke_and_Mirrors says:

    Isn’t that also the phrase that Ash (Bruce Campbell) was supposed to say when taking the Necronomiconexmortis: The Book of the Dead, in Army of Darkness.

  2. Ash says:

    Klaatu Barada Necktie

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