Nobody Expects the Senate Inquisition!

I’m sorry. I know it’s mean-spirited, politically divisive, and does nothing to help Michelle Obama’s children. But I swear, I can’t help myself.

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Nobody expects the SENATE INQUISITION!

Harry Reid: Senator Burris– you are accused of corruption on three counts — corruption in print, corruption in word, corruption by deed, and corruption by action — *four* counts. Do you resign?

Roland Burris: I don’t understand what I’m accused of. You just didn’t ask the right questions.

Reid: Ha! Then we’ll make you understand! Senator Durbin! Fetch…THE CUSHIONS!

[JARRING CHORD]

[Dick Durbin holds out two ordinary modern household cushions]

Durbin: Here they are, Senator.

Reid: Now, Mr. Burris – you have one last chance. Confess the heinous sin of corruption, resign from your Senate seat — *two* last chances. And you shall be free — *three* last chances. You have three last chances, the nature of which I have divulged in my previous utterance.

Burris: I really don’t know what you’re talking about.

Reid: Right! If that’s the way you want it — Sen. Durbin! Poke him with the soft cushions!

[Durbin carries out this rather pathetic torture]

Reid: Resign! Resign! Resign!

Durbin: It doesn’t seem to be hurting him, Harry.

Reid: Have you got all the stuffing up one end?

Durbin: Yes, Harry.

Reid [angrily hurling away the cushions]: Hmm! He must be made of stronger stuff! Governor Quinn! Fetch…THE COMFY SENATE SEAT!

[JARRING CHORD]

[Zoom into Quinn's horrified face]

Quinn [terrified]: The…Comfy Senate Seat?

[Durbin pushes in a comfy chair -- a really plush one]

Reid: So you think you are strong because you can survive the soft cushions. Well, we shall see. Dick! Put him in the Comfy Senate Seat!

[They roughly push Burris into the Comfy Senate Seat]

Reid [with a cruel leer]: Now — you will stay in the Comfy Senate Seat until lunch time, with only a cup of coffee at eleven. [aside, to Durbin] Is that really all it is?

Durbin: Yes, Senator.

Reid : I see. I suppose we make it worse by shouting a lot, do we? Resign, man! Resign! Resign! Resign! Resign! Resign!

Durbin: I resign!

Reid: Not you, Dick!

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For those of you who are completely bewildered, this may help.

Stoutcat

Durbin to Burris: Resign

 

It’s just getting worse and worse. The latest in the call for IL Sen. Roland Burris’s resignation is IL Sen. Dick Durbin, the Senate’s second-ranked Democrat. Fox News reports:

Sen. Dick Durbin asked new U.S. Sen. Roland Burris to resign on Tuesday, but Burris would not, the Senate’s second-ranking Democrat said Tuesday.

…Durbin, the Democratic whip, told reporters afterward that he was disappointed that when he asked Burris to resign, he said he would not…

Durbin said he did not get the answers he hoped from the senator, who is being investigated into whether he perjured to an Illinois House panel deciding whether to impeach Blagojevich…

Last week while traveling in Greece, Durbin, the senior senator from Illinois, said he wanted to hear from Burris before giving an opinion on whether he should quit the post handed to him by Blagojevich, who was arrested in December on charges of pay-to-play schemes out of the governor’s mansion.

That’s an awful lot of clamor ringing in the ears of Sen. Burris. A less-secure person would surely have resigned by now, bowed under by the awful pressure of the demands for resignation. Lest we forget with whom we are dealing, remember that this is a man with no small ego.

It’s going to take a lot more than just polite requests from his colleagues to get this fellow out of the seat in which he is now firmly ensconced. I think he’ll have to be promoted out of the Senate. How does Governor Burris sound to you, sir?

Stoutcat

Alas, Poor Roland

 

At what point does it cease being at least amusing and become instead, pathetic? When do we start asking–no, demanding–accountability from our public officials? Whatever happened to the concept of “Caesar’s wife?”

Case in point: poor wretched Roland Burris. This man, with his grandiose monument to himself for the hereafter, the would-be Senator from Illinois, may now be in even deeper trouble; he was questioned by federal authorities for several hours on Saturday about his conversations with the brother of disgraced IL ex-governor Rod Blagojevich.

The Chicago Sun-Times reports:

The questioning, first reported online Saturday by the Sun-Times and NBC/5, went on for several hours. It likely dealt in part with conversations between Burris and Robert Blagojevich. At least one of those conversations was caught on tape.

So the questions are still out there, and they’re not just about Burris–he’s just a visible symbol of what’s wrong. Where has Rahm Emanuel been lately? Is anyone still incensed about the Geithner appointment? Which other shady, corrupt, tax-cheating cronies will Obama try to pack his cabinet with? And beneath all this exists the roiling and simmering resentment about the Stimulus bill that was literally forced down our throats.

Many Americans are finally getting tired of the rot that killing the best form of government the world has seen, the latest manifestations of which are the shady connections of ”The Most Transparent Presidential Administration Ever” and the corruption of the “Most Ethical Congress Ever.”

Roland Burris is is not part of the problem — he’s a symptom of the disease.

H/T: HotAir

Stoutcat

Keep Burris and Reinstate Blago… It Makes Sense!

 

Speaking as a conservative, I say that we keep Burris, and put Blago back in office, too. I say that we keep them as a reminder of what our government has become. I say that we keep them as a reflection of our selfish, narcissistic, petty, entitled, ignorant selves.

Blago said:

“You guys are in politics. You know what we have to do to go out and run elections”

Hey, at least he spoke the truth.

This is what we get when we can’t even perform simple math and apply common sense: We just spent $787,000,000,000.00 to “create or keep” 3,500,000 jobs. Do the math… That costs $224,857.14 per job creation/stabilization. That’s roughly 20 times the amount commercial America spends… That’s simply crazy, and it’s only the beginning. Duh! But Hey! at least we’re getting a $13 tax break.

The most popular TV program? Something on the Science Channel? No. Nat Geo? No. PBS? No. One of the myriad of news programs? No.  The most popular TV program in America is “American Idol“. How appropriate.

Russia is a power rising… Damn their economy… Full speed ahead! (Charles Krauthammer writes brilliantly about Russia flexing its muscles, and the Obama administration’s flaccid response.)

Our national debt isn’t $11 trillion as the “experts” would tell you… It’s $53 trillion. That’s four times the GDP.

If things don’t change, and change in a big way ASAP, it looks like this country won’t end with a bang or a whimper, but rather with the sound of an ill-conceived, obscene joke… Perhaps the sound of a Blago, Burris, Obama, Pelosi, Reid, Frank, or a mall rat sitting on a whoopee cushion.

So sure… Let’s keep Burris, and reinstate Blagojevich. Given the nature of the world, our politicians, and our culture, it just makes sense.

Alan Speakman

Quinn to Burris: “Resign”

 

Just in from the AP, yet another in the long line of voices calling for Roland Burris to resign his IL Senate seat. Sadly for Burris, this time, it’s the Illinois governor.

Quinn said Friday that his fellow Democrat, Burris, is an honorable man. But he says controversy surrounding Burris’ appointment has cast a shadow over his service in the Senate.

The governor says a new senator should be chosen by special election.

Which, of course, is what they should have done in the first place.

How do the people of Illinois like being considered a laughingstock, I wonder?

Stoutcat

The Growing Clamor

 

After several statement-amending affidavits, a few press conferences, and lots of bad press, the clamor for newly-appointed IL Senator Roland Burris to resign his seat is growing louder.

Dan Hynes, Illinois’ comptroller is the latest voice calling for Burris’s resignation. In a letter he sent to newspapers on Thursday Hynes wrote that “Burris has had an honorable career, but questions over his appointment would be a “distraction” to President Barack Obama’s administration and the country.”

Also yesterday a group of black ministers who until recently had supported Burris are now expected to ask for his resignation, the AP reports.

“…prompted by revelations Burris attempted to raise money for Blagojevich while seeking the Senate job vacated by President Barack Obama, some of those pastors will ask Burris to resign, according to the minister, who spoke on condition of anonymity because a meeting with Burris had not yet been scheduled.”

Earlier in the week, the Chicago Tribune was already sounding the call. In an editorial that ran in Wednesday’s issue, the Tribune had this to say about Sen. Burris:

The story gets worse with every telling. Enough. Roland Burris must resign. His protests that he had nothing to hide just don’t square with his obvious attempts to hide something, as evidenced by the evolving truths in three sworn statements to the House impeachment panel.

The Washington Post was also explicit in its recommendation:

Mr. Burris’s story has more twists than the Chicago El, and none of them good. Caught in a swirl of accusations of perjury and calls for his resignation from state Democrats and Republicans alike, Mr. Burris said yesterday, “I welcome the opportunity to go before any and all investigative bodies, including those referred by Illinois Attorney General Lisa Madigan and the Senate ethics committee to answer any questions they have.” When that opportunity arises, why should anyone believe him?

…this latest revelation makes a mockery of his professions of no quid pro quo. It is a violation of the public trust. The people of Illinois have suffered enough. Mr. Burris should resign.

Goodness, even the Senator’s fellow politician, Dick Durbin, no fan of Burris to begin with, is clearly troubled:

“I am troubled by this and I hope he will call in some advisers he trusts and gets some advice about what to do next,” Durbin said of Burris. “At this point, his future in the Senate seat is in question.”

The handwriting is on the wall, Senator Burris. It’s up to you to read it and act appropriately. You got yourself into this mess. Maybe it’s time to step up and do what’s best for your country (and your party). On the other hand, maybe you should have thought of that before you thrust yourself into the limelight.

Stoutcat

BREAKING: Burris Confesses…

 

A weeping Roland Burris has just announced that he took the Lindbergh baby.

He also confessed to killing Jimmy Hoffa, kidnapping Roanoke colonists, and sinking the lost island of Atlantis. And he admits that he reversed the polarity of the earth, causing not only the death of the dinosaurs, but also the formation of the Bermuda Triangle.

However, he still insists that he has done nothing wrong, and that he simply wasn’t asked the right questions.

</humor>

Stoutcat

Burris: “Oh Wait, I Forgot…”

 

Newly-appointed IL Senator Roland Burris is now admitting that he actually agreed to a “request” from then-Governor Blagojevich’s brother to raise funds for the governor, as Burris was seeking appointment to the Senate seat.

Let’s recap, shall we?

Story #1: I didn’t do anything wrong, and I most certainly didn’t speak to anyone, including the Gov’s brother, so help me God.

Story #2: I didn’t do anything, but I might have spoken to some people–but not the Gov’s brother. And I still didn’t do anything wrong, so help me God.

Story#3: Oh yeah, I forgot–I spoke to the Gov’s brother. And he asked me to raise some funds for the Gov, but I said no. And I still didn’t do anything wrong, so help me God.

Story #4: Well, I actually told the Gov’s brother I would raise funds for the Gov. And I still didn’t do anything wrong, so help me God.

 Hypothetical Story #5, sure to come sooner or later:  Perjury? No, I don’t know what that is. But I I still didn’t do anything wrong. So help me God.

Question: Is Harry Reid kicking himself now for caving in to Burris so quickly?

Question 2: How long will it be before the good citizens of Illinois get tired of being a political joke and elect some decent people to represent them?

H/T: HotAir

Stoutcat

Burrris: A Measure of America’s Intelligence and Character

It’s pretty cut and dried. What follows are the words of Burris under oath…

Jan. 8/09

Durkin: “At any time were you directly or indirectly aware of a quid pro quo with the governor for the appointment of this vacant Senate seat?

Burris: No sir.”

Now it comes out that Burris admitted that Blago’s brother Rob asked him for help for “fundraising” back in October and November.

If you or I were to testify as such under oath, we’d be heading for the “gray bar hotel” for perjury. Period.

Look, Burris is no big deal. No doubt, compared with some of the Washington weasels he’s probably “Mr. Goody Two-Shoes”. But the question really isn’t whether Burris is guilty or not, but whether America has the smarts, character, and objectivity to admit that Burris perjured himself.

After Wright, Ayers, ACORN, Rezko, ad nauseum… I ain’t gonna hold my breath.

Alan Speakman

Burris, White and the Demobrats Come to Agreement… Wince

 

Apparently the US Senate will swear in Roland Burris as the junior Senator from Illinois this Thursday. The solution for IL SecState Jesse White’s distaste for signing the required paperwork? Two pieces of paper. The first is the usual paperwork to seat a Senator. The second is a piece of paper with IL’s Secretary of State’s signature on it. Bluntly, Mr. White simply didn’t want to place his John Hancock on the official forms.

Ummm… Is this what’s its come to? “I don’t want my signature touching your signature.” Is this the change we were promised? What’s next from the Demobrats? “Mom! Roland is staring at me!” … “He hit me! Did not! Did too!!” … “I won’t eat my vegetables!“

And this is how the government spends our tax dollars? Oh yes.

At this point, the country and the media pretty much stands flubbing its collectives lips . We don’t know exactly where $350 billion in TARP went. Our politicians are flip flopping in IL and beyond. And now, Demobrats won’t even play nice with each other.

If this post seems rambling, well that’’s on purpose… It simply reflects the political climate.

Quick! Get me an infomercial!

Alan Speakman