Mending Fences

Now that the dust is settling in the Republican candidate stakes, it looks like Mitt will be our nominee. And I’m fine with that. Really. I am.

After four years of President Downgrade, we will need to do some fast damage control if we hope to regain even a bit of our former standing in the world community. With that in mind, I have several suggestions for actions President Romney can take very soon after he is sworn in:

  1. Contact someone in England and suggest that, because of the very special relationship that exists between the two countries, we’d really love to have that bust of Churchill back and proudly displayed in the White House.
  2. Issue an invitation to Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu to a White House state dinner in his honor. Allow him to dine with the guests.
  3. Ditto the Dalai Lama. Allow him to enter and exit by the front door.
  4. Make sure there is a fully-staffed Protocol office, and that they actually know what they are doing regarding things like vetting guests at state dinners and choosing special gifts for foreign dignitaries.
  5. Make sure you know how to pronounce military jargon… like “corpsman”.
  6. Start practicing now so that you can throw a baseball from the pitcher’s mound across home plate. Bonus points if you don’t wear mom jeans while doing so.
  7. Call a spade a spade: Drop the stupid “kinetic military action”, “overseas contingency operation”, “man-made disasters”, jargon and call them wars, terrorists, etc.
  8. From the time of your election to the day of your inauguration, don’t begin your transition using the non-existent position of “Office of the President-Elect”. And definitely don’t design a seal for this non-existent office.
  9. And please, whatever else you do, when you accept the nomination at the convention, do not fist-bump Ann.

If you can start off your presidency with these few things, you’ll definitely be on the right track. And I’m fine with that. Really. I am.

Stoutcat

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3 Responses to Mending Fences

  1. Gerry Ashley says:

    To this, I would add,

    Please eliminate the position of Czar. ALL Czars. If the people you want to have advising you can’t meet the approval of Congress, CHOOSE OTHER PEOPLE.

    If you are going to TALK transparency, WALK transparency. Or shut the hell up.

    Offer our allies a brief and succinct apology for the previous 4 years. Don’t try to mask it by saying, “We were only kidding, folks.” Admit to our horrible mistake and that we will do everything to restore the proud partnership we once enjoyed.

    Offer our enemies a brief and succinct warning: “Hope you enjoyed the brief comedic interlude… now back to our regular scheduled programming.”

    And finally, address the American public who long to hear these words (or the political equivalent):

    “Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking. We apologize for that brief bit of turbulence and any inconvenience it has caused you. I want to assure you we have climbed above it and the rest of our journey will be as pleasant as possible. You are once again free to move about the cabin… in liberty, free from tyranny. Once again, thank you and thank you for flying Constitution Airlines.”

    • Stoutcat says:

      Gerry, nice points! I would add, however, that once we get President Obama out of office, the turbulence is by no means over with. We’ve got years, if not generations, ahead of us that we’ll have to fix the problems we’ve been handed, and not just by the current administration. I venture to say that we’ve got to undo the last 60 years of history and culture in this country, not to mention all the economic woes we’ll continue to see for some time. But hopefully, we will be free to move about the cabin as we attepmt to fix what is so obviously broken.

  2. [...] you may recall, ahwile back I made a list of Day One Action Items for President Romney. And guess what was #1 on that list… yep, [...]

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